Probably the closest type of writing to my heart, and also the section that is the least complete. Random and clipped journal entries are here for your purusal.

Jan. 28th, 2005
What secrets had the nighttime brought that I was unaware of? The rain is clamoring off of rooftops, clanking its way down to the earth. It has been all day - began slowly enough, sleepily enough in the wee hours of the morning - a gentle nod to those of us still awake. Some unhappy and bundled up crying into a phone somewhere attempting to reach out for that impossible hope - salvaging something in a relationship.

Others, like us, Justin and I, quite content to be in bed with one another - all hands and kisses and soft touches. Warm orange light making our skin that much more supple and vibrant looking, illuminating his eyes with an intensity like fire, glowing sapphires with facets of sage.
My mouth somehow kept managing to find his mouth, ear, throat. So, as I said, the rain began to fall outside, slowly carefully, measuring out the morning drop by drop, testing the earth to see whether this place would be an acceptable transition from the heavens. not concerned with two lovers passionately clinging to one another in bed, or, in an separate room, a girl clinging to the phone willed with sadness and frustration, desperation, searching for something she may be quite incapable of finding with the voice on the other end of the line.

Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
Upon Sitting at Mi Tierra with Val!

      You hear of poets and writers bogged down with their drink, their
inspiration and their crutch. Beer or absinthe, wine or whisky burns
in their bellies. But not us. No - we sisters in San Antonio sit
with a liter of Margarita on our table, chips, salsa, tortillas. We
feel the expansion of our hips but with a pen in hand, it's hard to

Dec. 18th, 2004
      I want to break the earth open and pour myself into it.
      The shadows stretched across the world like fingers, pulling it awake.
      “Angles and curves. All this geometry.” - Justin

Dec. 13th, 2004
I felt my whole life expanding before me with this person... From our first morning of intimacy - the warm, satisfying peach colors of his skin against mine. Later on - the sight of his hand on my stomach, his thumb caressing my skin - welcoming, caring, non-judgmental - promising a future. A completely different and unknown future than I ever thought possible, domestic but comfortable, pleasant, and most importantly satisfying

Dec. 5th, 2004
My ribs were pressing hard against my back again, trying to break through the skin - split me open and peel off the outer layer of myself - spread out and away and remove the cloudy atmosphere around me that kept me mute.

Dec 12, 2003 - AM
The sky was clear and all the lights glittered this morning. The world
hinted, again - as it often does at times like these - that there might be
something out there. Something more - worthwhile. The city was only a
gathering of sparkles in the distance and the sky overhead swirled purple
and deep over a spattering of stars.

I breathed in the chilled morning air, whipped my head around attempting
to take it all in.

40 degrees and invigorating. Texas 1 week prior to New Years. There is
anxiety and fear surrounding that, a bit.

But the air was so crisp and cool. I find myself trying to uncloud my mind
and reach for a definitive answer.
Wouldn't that be something?

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